Dressing them up

I love the dressing them up, the subtle tilt of a hat

I love the dressing them up
Halloween night in The Castro. Ken and Larry had organised the costumes for the six of us who were headed out. Ken had made most of the costumes and they had bulk bought accessories to make sure we really looked the part. When they had asked me a couple of weeks before if I was up for being in costume (of course I was) they had told me that they had a couple of themes they were deciding between. In the end the theme was pirates and wenches. I was going to be a pirate which meant not having to shave anything (beard, chest, legs). Joe who I had met the previous night would also be a pirate. Ken & Larry and Stephen & Nick would be pirate wenches. It wasn’t Ken & Larry’s first time doing drag for Halloween.

Very soon all six of us were at the house enjoying a cocktail while getting in to costume. There were people walking round the house in various states of undress, mainly trying to find a free mirror to use. The dogs looked a little bemused by it all. Joe and I were ready first as neither of us had to bother with (much) make-up. I had gone for a little guy-liner a la Johnny Depp in Captain Jack Sparrow mode. Once in full costume I realised that the trousers had no pockets so I would need to find somewhere safe, but accessible, for my wallet. I tried tucking it in to my underwear. The trousers were also a little snug in the crotch and didn’t leave much to the imagination so I quickly removed the wallet and found somewhere else for it. I figured that the figure hugging trousers would be fine though – there was bound to be much more on display from the other people who would be out and about that evening.

We were running slightly late for our dinner reservation but managed to get a few group photos done before we headed out. The restaurant was only a five-minute walk away but we had one novice heel wearer in the group, which meant it took us nearer ten. On the walk over we had several people shouting “ooh-arr” or other pirate related phrases in our direction. I resisted the very strong urge to point out some of the larger people with my plastic cutlass while shouting “A vast behind”. We arrived at Catch and were shown to our table. Hardly any of the other diners were in costume and a hush descended on the restaurant as we made our way through. It was hardly surprising given the costumes and in particular, Ken’s knee high red PVC high-heeled boots. Our table was right by the window, which was wide open out on to Market Street. It meant a lot of passing people stared in at us, some asking for photos, most being very complimentary about our costumes. Whenever anyone vaguely piratey went by there would be a lot of shouting between us.

One of the waiters serving us had gone for a rather understated costume. He was wearing a t-shirt with a big letter “P” on the front. He was also sporting a rather nasty black eye. Larry and Nick were discussing his costume, saying that they couldn’t work out what he was supposed to be dressed as.

Larry: What is with the guy in the t-shirt with the P on the front?

Nick: Is he the one with the black eye?

Me: Do you think he could be a black-eyed pea?

It was only saying it out loud that made the penny drop for us. We complimented him on his clever costume. Over dinner we discussed our pirate names. I opted for Roger the Cabin Boy. Nobody seemed to get the reference so maybe the Captain Pugwash urban legend about the names hadn’t made it over to the States. I thought Master Bates and Seamen Staines might be wasted on them. Once dinner was over and the wenches had been to the bathroom to check make-up and re-apply lipstick we headed into The Castro for some drinks. We got stopped quite a few times by groups of tourists asking if they could take our photos. We obliged. By the time we arrived at Badlands we had passed several Amy Winehouse’s (some dead, some possibly alive), a whole bunch of bananas and a guy who was a perfect Chun-Li winning my award for Random 1990s Reference Costume.

The subtle tilt of a hat

Drinks in Badlands were fun. Most of the people there had made an effort with costumes and the few people who hadn’t seemed to look a little out of place. As was to be expected there was a fair amount of flesh on display, luckily most of it on people I didn’t mind seeing without their tops on. I pointed out one rather good-looking Roman Gladiator to Joe but he couldn’t see who I was pointing at. I waggled my cutlass in the direction of the man and the blade snapped off from the handle. That will teach me for using my weapon for things it was not designed for. Joe laughed at me for being cutlassless (which is quite difficult to say after a few drinks).  I apologised to Ken and Larry for breaking one of their accessories. They said it was fine and that it had only cost a dollar anyway. I predicted that Joe’s would have snapped by the end of the evening too.

We stayed in Badlands for the whole evening. Shortly before we headed back home a short Mexican guy started chatting to me. I avoided bending down or kneeling to be down at his level. He asked me if he could kiss me. I told him he would need to find a box to stand on. That didn’t seem to go down very well and it was probably for the best that we headed off shortly afterwards. The walk back to Ken & Larry’s was mostly uphill. As we crossed Market Street we got stopped by a couple of guys in police uniform, one of whom was quite hot. They wanted a photo with the wenches. I remembered the advice that Ken had given me – if you see anyone in police uniform at Halloween check if they have a gun. If they do then they are real policemen and you probably shouldn’t hit on them. The guy had a gun.

On the uphill stretch back to the house Joe’s cutlass snapped as predicted without me having to resort to snapping it myself. Stephen, the novice heel wearer was struggling with the steep hill so I gave him a piggyback. Luckily he is very slim so didn’t weigh much. It was the first time I had given anyone a piggyback since an incident a few years ago in Sheffield where, after a rather boozy night out with family and friends, I had given a family friend, Gillian, a piggyback. We chatted as I carried her back to the car and for some reason she had got the giggles. There was a very hasty dismount as she was worried she was about to wet herself (and my back). Anyway, we all arrived safely back to the house and in much less time than it had taken everyone to get ready, everyone was back to normal attire. The dining table was awash with wigs, hats, costume jewellery and fake boobs. A sure sign of a good night out if ever there was one.

 “I love the dressing them up, the subtle tilt of a hat” 
Lyrics from Dressing them up from the musical Kiss of the Spiderwoman