Skimming the surface

Dancing through life, skimming the surface

Dancing through life
Saturday night in Auckland, time to check out the local gay scene. Having done some research it appeared that there were two main bars, Family and DNA, both on K’ Road. There were a number of other bars too but they looked a lot smaller. Both Family and DNA had drag shows on a Saturday night so I figured I would go check at least one of them out, see how Kiwi drag compared to the drag I had seen in the other places on my trip so far. I hadn’t had to go out alone on the gay scene since Santiago, over two months before. I was ready for a drink and a dance, and I was determined to be more confident this time round. I vowed to initiate conversation with the locals as I didn’t have the language barrier to contend like I had had in Chile.

I got myself ready, opting for jeans and the only shirt that I had with me. I checked my hair, both head and chest, in the mirror to make sure I looked ok. My head hair could do with a bit of a trim as it had not been cut since my sister had done it for me in Mexico. I noticed rather more grey in it than I had when I started the trip. I told myself people would see it as “distinguished” rather than “old”. My chest hair could arguably have done with a trim too but I threw caution (and chest hair) to the wind and left the top two buttons on my shirt open. I headed out for the walk up to K’ Road. I had calculated that I would arrive at the first place around 10pm, by which time I was expecting the evening to be well under way for most people. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The first place looked like it wasn’t even open but as I got closer I saw the doors were open. Inside it was virtually deserted, a couple of guys stood at one of the tables outside and a rather bored looking woman was stood behind the bar. I carried on a little further down the street and reached DNA. There were a handful of people dotted around but it was also very empty. I decided I might as well get a drink. The walk from the door to the bar across a big empty room seemed to take an eternity. I ordered a pint of lager and while the barman was getting a glass I took my phone out to double check the time to make sure I hadn’t somehow got it wrong. Nope, it was gone 10pm on a Saturday and the Auckland gay scene was decidedly dead. That is the trouble with not having a local contact and having to rely on the internet. There is no information about what time a place actually gets busy or what night people tend to go to which bars.

I mentally ran through the options that could explain why it was so quiet:

1. There was a happening new gay venue that I hadn’t found out about during my research and everyone was there having a great time;
2. The smattering of homosexuals at the bar was the Auckland gay scene in its entirety; or
3. They didn’t start partying until very late in Auckland.

After the barman handed me over my drink I asked him a couple of questions, managing to rule out (1) and (2) and confirming that people didn’t start partying in Auckland until quite late. I had expected the gay scene to be more like that back home in the UK or the States where on a Saturday evening bars would be busy by 10pm. It appeared that Auckland was more like the places I had been in Buenos Aires and Santiago where things don’t even get going until close to midnight and then carry on until the sun is coming up the next day.

Skimming the surface

I figured I was there now so might as well make myself comfortable. I found a seat at the bar and drank my pint. So much for being confident and initiating conversation – there was nobody to talk to. Having nursed my pint for a while I finally finished it and ordered myself a second. A rather drunk guy ordered himself a glass of wine and then introduced himself. We chatted for a couple of minutes and he then introduced himself again. I told him that he had already introduced himself. The conversation we had just had was repeated as he kept asking me the same questions. I was saved by the first of the drag shows starting, using it as a chance to move away from the bar towards the stage where I would get a better view. The guy followed and stood at the side of me, swaying gently. Every now and again he would turn and say something to me, including introducing himself for the third time.

The guy eventually wandered off into the crowds, leaving me alone. I got chatting to a guy from Mexico who lived in Wellington and was in Auckland for the weekend. He asked me where my boyfriend had gone and I very quickly corrected him, explaining that I had only just met the guy and he was very drunk. Julio (the Mexican) turned out to be sober and friendly which was a relief. We chatted as the drag act continued their performance. It seemed to be some sort of gender non-specific Destiny’s Child tribute act. We struggled to determine whether the performers were male, female or somewhere in between. They could really dance though. 

Julio told me that he was off to Family to meet a couple of friends of his and that I was more than welcome to join him. The place was a lot busier than it had been when I had walked by at 10pm. While Julio found his friends I found the bar to get us some drinks, finally tracking him down outside talking to a couple of lesbians. I was introduced to them and they asked me how I knew Julio. I explained that I had only met him a couple of hours before and that he had saved me from having the same conversation over and over again with a drunk guy.

Having gotten off to a fairly rocky and quiet start my first taste of the Auckland gay scene really picked up. Julio’s friends were very welcoming and we chatted a while before they headed over to DNA. Julio and I stayed at Family having already done DNA. The conversation between us flowed really well. I find this sometimes happens with people, you seem to connect instantly on a level that is not merely a physical attraction. We seemed to be on the same wavelength and we could bounce off of each other while chatting. We got chatting to some random people who happened to be stood near us. One guy asked us how long we had been together. Without pausing to hesitate I said “Five years”. Julio instantly joined in, putting his arm round me and saying “But it still feels like we only just met”. The evening turned out to be a late one as we stopped to watch the late drag show and have a bit of a dance and a few more drinks. I got to bed around 5am, pleased that I had gone out, chatted to people and made a couple of new friends.

“Dancing through life, skimming the surface” 
Lyrics from Dancing through life from the musical Wicked