We'll put on a show

Hello, Buenos Aires, get this, just look at me dressed up, somewhere to go, we'll put on a show

Hello, Buenos Aires

Buenos Aires. It was somewhere I had always wanted to visit, probably as a result of having seen Evita. The flight from Rio & the taxi ride to the hotel were uneventful. I was able to tell the driver where I was going using the local language and we even had a short conversation about it being my first visit to BA. I hadn’t really used my Spanish since university well over a decade ago and I was a little rusty. I had picked the hotel I was staying at partly because of the location (it was very central) and partly because of the name – the Broadway Hotel. I checked in and made my way to my room. I had a great view out over Corrientes down to the junction with Nueve de Julio where the obelisk was lit up. It was reminiscent of the Washington Monument and for a brief moment I felt a bit disorientated.

  

I settled in and checked my messages. A guy I used to work with back in London had sent me a message and copied in a couple of his friends, Pablo & Nacho, who live in BA. His friends had replied saying that they would be able to meet up with me for a drink or dinner the following night and gave me some suggestions of things to do while I was in BA. I dropped them a message saying that I was looking forward to meeting them. I dropped a message back to my London friend thanking him for the introduction. I was pleased I had such an international group of friends as it was throwing up hosts and drinking buddies in most every place I went.

Don't cry for me Argen-Dean-a

The following morning after breakfast and coffee I did my usual first morning routine and went for a walk. The hotel receptionist gave me a great map and I set off towards the Casa Rosada. I had left my iPod back at the hotel but I had the score from Evita going through my head and was humming the tunes as I walked along. The Casa was very pink, understandably. I got some photos before getting Dean out so that he could be in the picture too. A nearby group of people gave me a funny look as I positioned Dean with his arms raised a la Eva for the photo. I had read that there was a museum at the Casa Rosada too but I couldn’t immediately see it. I steeled myself and asked one of the guards, using a bit of basic Spanish. I didn’t get all of his reply but I understood enough to get that it was closed today so I would need to come back. He told me roughly where it was too so I should be able to find it.

Get this, just look at me dressed up, somewhere to go
I found getting around BA a lot easier than I had Rio and I felt a lot more relaxed. I did a spot of shopping, buying a pair of jeans as I had only packed one and BA was a little on the chilly side. I grabbed a late lunch, continued my walk and made my way back to the hotel, using the Obelisk as a reference point to find my way back. I had a siesta then showered and changed to head out to meet Pablo and Nacho. I walked down to El Federal, a place Pablo had suggested would be good to get a drink and a bite to eat. He said he would be there at 8:30pm and that Nacho would be arriving later. In preparation for speaking a bit more Spanish than I could probably handle I had written out some verb tables to help me.

I arrived at exactly 8:30pm and had a look in through the windows to see if I could see Pablo. I was working off the photos of him I had seen on Facebook. I couldn’t see him inside and had just finished checking when I heard someone call my name. Pablo was just crossing the road. We said our hellos and headed in to find a table, ordering beers from the waiter. We chatted for a while, mostly in English, about what I had done that day. Pablo apologised for his English, which was infinitely better than my Spanish.

Over the course of the evening we were joined by Nacho and a friend of theirs, Dario. We shared some more beers and some great food. I tried morcilla, the local blood sausage. After a couple of beers I tried to use a bit more of my Spanish. One of the guys asked how I got from the airport. I knew the answer in Spanish. “Cogí un taxi” I said. There was a sharp intake of breath, spluttered beer and shocked looks all round from my new friends. They kindly explained to me that in Latin America “coger” means “to f**k” rather than “to catch” like it does in Spain. It also turns out that taxi is local slang for a rent boy. I went bright red. I made it clear that I had taken a cab from the airport rather than anything else.

After dinner and drinks, Pablo, Nacho and I headed to Nacho’s place so that he could change out of his work suit before we headed out for a few more drinks. Dario arrived at Nacho’s a little while later and I was introduced to a couple more guys, Leandro & Markitos. When they were all talking together and speaking so quickly I couldn’t keep up with the conversation. I got the odd work or sentence every now and again. I needed to practice my Spanish a lot. We all headed to a bar called Km Zero, arriving there at just gone midnight. The place wasn’t open yet so we sat in the car and waited a while. Once the doors opened we made our way in, got a drink and found ourselves a table. Dario explained that a drag queen friend of his was performing shortly.

We'll put on a show

The show started and I immediately recognised the intro to All That Jazz from Chicago. What I didn’t know was that there was a Spanish lyrics version which the drag queen was busy miming along to. There was much applause after the first number and then she set off into her act. There was no hope of me following what she was saying so I just sat back and enjoyed my drink. A little while later she came into the audience. I realised my mistake in sitting on the side of the table that she could get to. She obviously knew Dario and recognised the rest of the gang apart from me. I was a prime target. I tried to make myself shrink but I felt a hand on my shoulder and a question was directed at me. Dario explained that I was visting and didn’t speak much Spanish. That didn’t stop me being pulled up on to the stage.

I was asked to pick another guy from the audience, who in turn had to pick someone until there were four of us up on stage. Luckily Markitos had been picked by one of the other guys so he stood next to me, explaining what was going on. It was usual drag act stuff. We had to dance with the drag queen and answer a few questions. I was asked what I looked for in a man. I wished I knew the Spanish for “penis and a pulse”. Having answered the questions the four of us were made to all sit on a chair that had been carefully placed by the drag queen. We were told to put our feet firmly on the floor in front of us and then lean back so our head was in the lap of the person behind, the four of us forming a square. One by one the drag queen removed the chairs until all four had been removed, the four of us supporting each others weight. We lasted a few seconds before collapsing in a heap on the stage. Our reward was a free drink from the bar. I got myself a gin and tonic. I certainly wouldn’t forget my first night out on the Buenos Aires scene in a hurry.

“Hello, Buenos Aires, get this, just look at me dressed up, somewhere to go, we'll put on a show” 
Lyrics from Buenos Aires from the musical Evita