Faster than a flicker

 I can drink my liquor, faster than a flicker

I can drink my liquor

After our day at the Texas State Fair we went out for dinner to help Galyn celebrate his birthday. There were about 8 of us and we headed to a Tex-Mex place called Pappasito’s. Gary checked that I was ok with Tex-Mex. I replied saying that I had just spent 3 weeks in Mexico eating Mex-Mex food so I would be fine. The food was good but the drinks we had to wash the food down with were even better. Gary recommended The Wave, a huge glass of frozen margarita with a swirl of frozen sangria through it. I had a couple of those and by the time we left I was feeling stuffed (with food) and a little tipsy.

We went for a couple of post dinner drinks at 1851 Club. It was a little busier than the first night and I didn’t get stared at as much by the locals. I was introduced to the barman and a couple of the regulars who were sat along the bar. It didn’t take me saying much for them to realise that I wasn’t local. The barman asked me if I would like a cup of tea. I told him that I didn’t drink tea. The Americans all looked at me in disbelief. They didn’t seem to be able to comprehend the concept an Englishman who didn’t drink tea. I told them it was a stereotype just like if I assumed all Texans wore cowboy boots 24/7 and owned several guns. As I finished the sentence I did a quick check to make sure I couldn’t see anyone in cowboy boots. Or anyone with a gun. We helped Galyn celebrate his birthday in style, which meant we ended up doing shots out of penis shaped shot glasses. There was a technique to getting the shot out in one go without spilling it. The balls at the bottom of the shot glass had to be the right way round when you drank. It was a fun night and it made me realise that with Gary I had at last found an American who could hold his liquor as well as me. It was a fun evening and I slept well.

After a hearty home cooked breakfast the next morning Gary & I headed over to a log cabin village for a bit of Texas heritage. The place was staffed with volunteers in period costume and there was nobody else there so we had the place to ourselves. The volunteers were great at bringing the place to life with stories about the cabins, the original owners and Texas history. One of the volunteers gave us the history of one of the cabins as she sat in a rocking chair, knitting. She asked if we had any questions. I tried to throw her by asking how the couple who owned the cabin managed to have eleven children given that there was only one bedroom. She smiled at me and said she wasn't sure but if it had been her she would have sent the kids outside while they had a go at making another one. I liked her.

Faster than a flicker

Friday night we hit the gay scene in Fort Worth. Duane joined us, which he wouldn’t have done if we had gone into Dallas. I was relaxed about wherever we went. I had been to such a wide range of gay bars so far during my trip but at the end of the day they all managed the basics – they all served alcohol, they had all gays there and they all played Adele. Our first stop was at a Rainbow Lounge, a place with a large bar and dance floor that already had a few people on it despite it still being fairly early. From the look of a few people they had clearly started their weekend celebrations early. We got ourselves a drink and headed out to the back where there was a patio and seating. The music out the back was different to the main bar too and I was enjoying the selection. After a couple of tracks the music was interrupted by talking. They were actually streaming BBC Radio 1 into the place. I felt at home. I considered asking them to play The News Quiz. I do like a bit of Sandi Toksvig.

We stayed there for one drink before heading across the road to another gay bar that was a little smaller and quieter. Some friends of Gary and Duane were there and we had a drink with them. The place had a couple of “bartenders” who were walking round in just underwear trying to sell shots to the customers. I am sure they made plenty in tips during an evening but a job where the “uniform” is just underwear is not something I could ever do. It would require way too much manscaping for a start.

I got to chat to Duane quite a bit over the course of the evening. It was nice to be able to get to know him a little better as I had spent most of the time so far with Gary. He was the quieter of the two but once we got chatting we got on really well. We discussed plans for the following day, a trip into downtown Dallas. He told me that if we had time afterwards we could always go up to the shooting range and fire some guns. After Fort Worth we headed back towards home in Arlington, calling in at Best Friends for a drink there. It was fairly busy and we settled ourselves in at the bar, facing across to the dancefloor where quite a few people were up doing some line dancing. Casey was behind the bar and he started on my gin and tonic without me even having to ask. He didn’t need to ask any of us what we were drinking.

The Texas School Book Depository

Saturday I was up early, but missed being bright by some way. Coffee, breakfast and a shower and I was good to go. I wanted to head into downtown Dallas for a walk around and see a couple of touristy things. We went to Dealey Plaza to see the site of JFK’s assassination. We took in the grassy knoll, along the road where the bullets struck (two large white 'x' markers have been painted on the road to mark the spot) and the Texas School Book Depository building. Our afternoon was spent walking round the Heritage Village and having a lunch sat in the sun so we never made it to the shooting range. Duane cooked dinner that evening and Galyn joined us. He was engrossed in the baseball match that was on the tv, the Texas Rangers needing to win it to go through to the World Series. In between the breaks in play I asked loads of silly questions – “What colour are the Texan Strangers playing in?”, “Is it half time?”, and “Which country will they play against in the World Series?”. Galyn answered all my questions, he was in a good mood because the Rangers were leading by quite a few goals.

After dinner Galyn headed home and Duane went for an early night as he was working on Sunday. I went upstairs to pack as my flight up to Seattle was fairly early the following morning. It didn’t take me that long to pack my suitcase. I was getting so used to it that I think I could probably pack in my sleep. I headed back downstairs to finish my glass of wine. Gary asked if I fancied a quick drink at 1851. I looked at my watch and said ok, provided it was just one drink as I should get an early night. Three hours, four drinks, two Jell-o shots and several drag queens later we got back home. It was going to be a long flight to Seattle in the morning. And I never did get to find out if everything is bigger in Texas.



“I can drink my liquor, faster than a flicker” 
Lyrics from Anything you can do from the musical Annie Get Your Gun