All by myself

I’m all alone, all by myself

I'm all alone

After my amazing Niagara experience I decided to take myself out on the town in Toronto, David being otherwise engaged at a work function. It was the first time on my travels that I had headed to a gay bar on my own so I didn’t have the safety blanket of a companion to chat to. I have never been good at starting conversations with complete strangers in bars, I get a bit nervous, unsure of how to approach them, what to say.

I headed to Woody’s, the bar that all the guides had recommended as the stalwart of the Toronto gay scene. It had a vague familiarity to it as I walked up (it had been used in filming the US version of Queer as Folk). I decided to set myself the challenge of speaking to someone in the bar and set a two drink timescale in which to do it. I ordered a pint of lager and then found myself a seat at a table in one of the corners so I could have a good vantage point.  A small group of guys came and sat down at the table next to me not long after I had settled in. They looked at me, some of them smiled and I smiled back. I sat for a while nursing my pint trying to make eye contact with them, hoping that they might strike up conversation. 

With me nearing the end of my pint, one of them, a cute dark haired guy, finally took pity on me and came over to introduce himself. We exchanged a few pleasantries and did the introductions. He picked up on my accent & asked where I was from. I said “London”. I then felt the need to add “England, not Ontario” as though it wasn’t obvious. We chatted for a while, I found out that he was out for a few drinks with his touch football (rugby) team and that they had won their match that evening. I explained my trip and why I was here in Toronto.

He introduced me to a few of his friends from the sports team. They all seemed very friendly and I chatted to quite a few different people. My first experience of the Toronto gay scene was great. By comparison to London, where I could have stood in a bar all night on my own and not had anyone talk to me, Toronto was very welcoming. The London scene is very cliquey. The majority of people don’t often make the effort to talk to people who are on their own. I’m guilty of it myself when I am out with my friends for drinks. It can be a very insular place. Perhaps this trip and constantly being the single person out drinking will make me more hospitable when I am back in London? Anyway, I made the most of the warm Canadian welcome and rolled home around 1am.

All by myself

The next morning I got up and headed to the St Lawrence food market as the guide books recommended the peameal bacon sandwich, which as a cure for the morning after the night before was the perfect start to the day. The weather was a little overcast but I decided that a trip to the Toronto Islands would be a good way to spend my last day. The ferries over to the Islands are frequent, taking you to one of three harbours on different islands. I arrived and took the 1st ferry which happened to be going to Hanlan’s point, the island furthest to the west. During the short crossing the heavens opened and I wondered whether I should just turn round and go back to find something indoors to do. However, as the ferry docked the clouds cleared and the sun came out. 

Toronto skyline from Toronto Islands

The Islands provided a great view back over the city and given they are virtually car free, a peaceful place to spend the day. I walked along the clothing optional beach (I remained fully dressed). There was a solitary sunbather on the beach who had opted for no clothes. It wasn’t a pleasant sight. I spent several hours walking round many of the islands and must have covered about 10 miles. I needed the exercise. I got the ferry back from the easternmost point, Ward’s Island.  The name of the ferry happened to be the name of one of the partners I used to work for. I took a photo for the girls back in the office, telling them I rode it all the way back to Toronto. It made them giggle and made me realise I miss the conversations and interaction we used to have in the office.

Final view of Toronto

Having got back home & showered and changed I headed out for dinner with my host, David. Over Mexican and margaritas we chatted about my travels, old work colleagues and men. I’ve known David for a few years as we used to work for the same company. At the time I was Head of Gays and had spotted David around the office. I figured he should be on the list of gays but stopped short of saying this to him. He duly signed up to the network a little while later and we became good friends. We had very similar childhoods so there is a bond between us. After a nightcap at a very English pub (the Queen & Beaver) I thanked David for putting me up for a few days and head to bed for an early night ahead of my early morning train to Montreal.


“I’m all alone, all by myself” 
Lyrics from I’m All Alone from the musical Spamalot