I took some grapes

I took some grapes and I crushed them to wine

I took some grapes

My time in Brisbane was at an end. I was up early to get to the airport, Bec was up early to get to work. I thanked her again for being such a great host and for taking a giant leap in offering to host me on the basis of out first meeting as strangers in the same bar. I was at the airport with enough time to get some breakfast before my flight to Adelaide, via Melbourne (the indirect flight a result of booking using my miles and paying less than a tenner rather than forking out a few hundred dollars on a direct flight). We were a little late leaving Brisbane and my connection was quite tight but thankfully the gate I arrived into in Melbourne and the gate I was leaving from were right next to each other. They had just started boarding my connecting flight as I got off my flight. I crossed my fingers and hoped that my suitcase had enough time to make the connection. I had gone nearly eight months without my case going astray and the short connection time made this the most likely time so far that I would end up being parted from my luggage. At Adelaide I was pleasantly surprised to see my case amongst the first few on the carousel.

I was in Adelaide to stay with a friend I used to work with, Kylie. I figured no trip to Australia would be complete without staying with at least one person called Kylie and I couldn’t see an invite from Ms Minogue landing in my inbox any time soon. Kylie is straight so I had explained that whilst it would be great to stay with her and catch up she wouldn’t count towards my target of 80 gays for obvious reasons. This didn’t bother her in the slightest so we had arranged my visit. I hadn’t seen her in about seven years since she left London to return to her native Australia. Since she had returned she had met a man, got married and had two kids. I reflected on my achievements in the same period – no husband, no kids but I had grown a beard. Kylie had come to collect me from the airport and after finding her in the car park I put my case in the boot of the car and got into the passenger seat. I was introduced to her two kids who were in the back seats, one looking rather chocolate covered. Once back at the house I was drafted in to help Kylie with the kids. She explained their evening routine and the promise of wine and adult conversation once they were in bed was enough motivation for me to help out. I’m not sure I provided too much assistance but the kids were fed, bathed and put to bed after watching an episode of Fireman Sam. Kylie opened a bottle of wine and poured us both a large glass, asking if I was hungry. After two onboard “meals” on my flights I said that I wasn’t massively hungry but could always pick at something. Kylie laid out a veritable feast of meats, cheeses, olives, crackers and nibbles.

Kylie is really well travelled and we chatted a lot about the various places we had both been. She told me about a trip she had done 15 years previously where she had gone on a big trip around Africa with a friend of hers. At the time Kylie was living in Australia and her friend was living in London. They had organised the entire trip using snail mail, sending letters backwards and forwards, often with copies of travel brochures or photocopies of stuff. This was before the internet had really caught on and before most people had even heard of an email address. If they needed to decide anything quickly they had spoken on the phone. Calls had been brief because of the cost. There was no Skype. I was fortunate that the whole internet thing had caught on. My trip wouldn’t have been possible without it. I couldn’t imagine trying to find 80 Gays to stay with and having to make contact with them all by letter. I had found a number of hosts by sticking a status update saying “I need a gay in such-and-such a place”. It also meant that I could be flexible in my schedule and a number of times on my journey I had made last minute bookings and headed somewhere that I hadn’t originally planned on going.

Given I wasn’t that hungry I helped demolish a good proportion of the food while Kylie opened a second bottle of wine. Her husband, Damien, returned from work and we were introduced. He settled himself down across the table with a glass of wine and we were soon chatting. He was very laid back and easy to chat to and fairly soon a third bottle of wine was being opened. I was fairly tipsy by the time I headed to bed. I woke the following morning and could hear that everyone else was already up. I tried to stay out of the way but once the kids realised I was up there was little chance of staying in bed undisturbed. Once the kids were ready for nursery Kylie left to drop them at nursery on her way to work. Once I was ready I walked into town with Damien. He was off to the cricket. I went to spend a day checking out Adelaide. I had been told that I would probably only really need a day to see the city. Kylie had booked the following day off work so that we could go up to the Barossa Valley to visit a couple of vineyards.

After Damien had pointed me in the right direction from the cricket ground I ambled slowly along by the river for a while. The temperature was already soaring and I sought refuge in the art gallery and had a good look round. I managed to see a lot of it without interruption as the place was quiet. The museum next door was a different matter with kids running around and screaming. I stayed about five minutes. I got myself some lunch and went and found a shaded spot in the Botanic Gardens in which to enjoy it. I had a small post lunch rest listening to my iPod. I must have dozed off because the album I was listening to had finished & I only remembered listening to the first couple of tracks. I had managed to fall asleep partly in the shade, partly in the sun. I was sure one of my legs looked more tanned than the other. Combined with my t shirt tan lines I bore a strong resemblance to a liquorice allsort (a brown and white stripey one not a pink or blue bobbly one). I had a wander round the gardens before making my way back up to Kylie’s. I stopped in at a bottle shop on the way to pick up a couple of bottles to replace the ones we had got through the previous night. Kylie returned from the work complete with children and I once again assisted with the feeding & cleaning routine. We only had the one bottle of wine after the kids had gone to bed.

I crushed them to wine

My final day in Adelaide saw me head out with Kylie to the Barossa Valley. She had very bravely agreed to take me to a couple of vineyards despite me recounting my tales of the Hunter Valley and laughing at every mention of a Semillon. Our day out would see us take in a couple of big name places and our first stop was the Wolf Blass winery. We started our wine tasting. I did the wine tasting, Kylie watched as she was driving and saving herself so that she could have a glass of wine with lunch. It was a lot different to the organised tour that I had done with Claire. Because it was midweek it was quiet and the guy doing our tasting spent a lot of time with us, telling us about the wines and answering my random questions. I found out lots of interesting things such as why they ship so much to the UK, why it is cheaper to buy a bottle in the UK and which wineries ship wine in massive sea container sized pouches rather than bottling it. I pictured getting one delivered once I was back home and getting a tap fixed onto it – the ultimate wine box!

  

After Wolf Blass, where I bought Kylie a bottle of something to have at home given she couldn’t really drink as she had to drive, we headed to Jacob’s Creek. Kylie had recommended we have lunch there. We had a little time before our lunch to sample some of the wines so we made our way to the bar. My gaydar went off as we approached and even Kylie commented on how the guy serving us had the qualifications to have been one of my hosts. I tried a few different wines, no Semillons, before lunch. Kylie had been right about the food. We had an amazing meal while we sat looking out at the vineyards. It was a great spot. Kylie had a glass of wine with lunch and then sensibly used the breathalyser machine in the bar to check she was ok to drive. I had never seen one before and it seemed like a good idea. I didn't have a go on it, concerned what 8 months of nearly daily drinking would do for my blood alcohol levels. After leaving Jacob's Creek we stopped at a small winery, one of Damien’s favourites, so Kylie could pick him a bottle or two up for their wine cellar. They had some great wines although I had to admit to not being able to tell the difference between a $30 bottle of Shiraz and a $300 bottle. I know that if I had had $300 to spend I would have been leaving the winery with 10 bottles of Shiraz and not one.

We finished our day by heading to Maggie Beer's. When Kylie had mentioned it I had thought it was a brewery but it turned out to be a farm shop run by a woman called Maggie Beer. I had no idea who she is but as far as I can tell she is the Australian equivalent of Delia Smith. We had coffee and some homemade ice cream and then got to see the woman herself. Having seen her in person I was still none the wiser. Once back at Kylie’s I did some admin, booking to climb the Harbour Bridge when I was back in Sydney. My sister and Mother had given me cash for my birthday the previous month and I had decided to use it to do something a little special. That would be their present to me. I checked myself in for my flight for the following day, did some laundry and had an early night ahead of an early start to get to Melbourne ready to celebrate Australia Day.

“I took some grapes and I crushed them to wine” 
Lyrics from Go, go, go Joseph from the musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat