We are a family

No matter what we are, we are a family

A long weekend in Sheffield was great practice for my upcoming travels. A 2-hour train journey to a place where I don’t know if I should drink the water and where I have a basic grasp of the language but don’t understand everything the locals say.  I’m home as mother is celebrating her 60th birthday.

I’m getting a mid afternoon train home, off-peak travel being one of the benefits of no longer having a job.  The train seems to be full of older people. In fact, it could easily double as the casting call for a remake of Cocoon.  The journey passes without incident and I head to meet my sister at her office.  The receptionist, pre-warned that I am arriving, remarks how similar my sister and I look. I’m not sure who should be more offended, but settle on my sister.

As it is mother’s actual birthday we celebrate with a meal out, during which I try to get a few action shots so we can make a photo book as a memento of the celebrations.  Two hundred photos later I think we have about a half dozen that might be ok with a little bit of photo-shopping. I blame the subject matter rather than my skills as a photographer.

The following day we head across the hills to go see my 91 year-old granddad. I don’t see my granddad as often as I should. He is my last surviving grandparent and despite his age is still as sharp anything. We’ve never told him that I’m gay. When I came out 13 years ago we decided that as he was approaching 80 there wasn’t much point telling him. I’m not sure if he knows but he has long since stopped asking if I am courting or not.

Me and my sister

After helping him do a few jobs (a visit to the chiropodist, the post office and the supermarket) we go for lunch.  I’ve tried telling my friends that I am the quiet one in the family, a fact they never believe until they meet the family.  Granddad, having had a child’s portion fish and chips for lunch, comments on a somewhat larger lady nearby having the adult portion. “She must have knickers like a bell tent.” he says in a rather loud voice.
The following day, Saturday, is the day of mother’s 60th birthday party.  My sister has organised everything – the buffet (an amazing array of Indian food homemade by the sister of one of mother’s work friends), the embarrassing photos of mother placed around the house (not difficult to find), the cake, the decorations and balloons.  The party is a huge success and it makes the weekend a lot easier for me. We are here to celebrate mother reaching a milestone age rather than it being me coming home for a weekend to say goodbye.

Me with mother. She's 60 you know

Sunday, with a surprising lack of hangovers all round, we head up to mother’s to do the cleaning up. Dinner consists of left over Indian, which is just as delicious the next day.  I also introduce mother to Skype so that we can keep in touch while I am away.  We have a test run which seems to go quite well. The wonders of modern technology.

Monday my sister has the day off and we get an early train over to Manchester to go see some friends of mine who have just had a baby.  It’s great to catch up with them as I haven’t seen them since the start of the year when they moved out of London.  I hold the baby for a little while and manage not to break it, something I am always scared of whenever someone passes me one to hold.

Tuesday arrives, time for me to get my train back to London and to do the final goodbyes to the family.  We don’t see each other that often and I’ll only be out of the country for 9 months but the goodbyes are very emotional. It makes me realise how lucky I am to have mother and my sister.  They say your friends are the family you choose.  I count them both as friends as well as family.

Mother reminds me that she retires two days after I set off so she could quite easily join me on my travels. She’s joking, I think…

“No matter what we are, we are a family” 
Lyrics from Family from the musical Dreamgirls